This Guy is not Serious at all Lol Enjoy ;
1. Bleach your skin. I cannot stress this enough! Having light skin is an absolute requirement to become a celebrity in Nigeria. Denrenle and Toke Makinwa can testify to this. However if you don’t know where to start, just seek the help of a certain (currently pregnant) hair stylist, whom we hear is a major importer of all things milky and Egyptian.Hope you get the drift but if you don`t ,I can`t help you any further.
Have no talent whatsoever. Release the crappiest music ever in the most horrible voice or consistently do some very bad acting. However since visibility is key, make sure you are on every red carpet in some tacky dress. Someone please tell me what cossy orjiakor does again.
3. You must have an instagram account. This is very important for showing off the knock off things that you buy. However Laura ikeji has taken this mgbekeish behaviour a notch higher by showing us invoices of her sister,Linda Ikeji`s “purchases” and off course with the permission of here egbon after all what are sisters for ? So if you don’t have invoices, acquaint yourself with Corel draw.Toyin lawani certainly leads in this pack. (please ignore her skin tone).
5. You must take the bathroom selfie in your underwear with your Ipad. Even if yoyo don’t have a great body like Kate henshaw, you suck your tummy in and snap on. People who previously did not know that you had the latest iPad Will become acquainted with that information. Hence they will know you are a big gal *rolls eyes*
6. Any fan that dares to insult you on Twitter is a poor person. And should be reminded such. Wizkid and Muna have enforced this a few times. Even though I am not quite sure what Muna does for a living, but that is matter for another day.
7. Create a fan club a count on Twitter to mobilize support for whatever scrappy venture you are involved in. That way it will look like there are people who actually support whatever it is that you do. Uti understands this more than any other person.
9.Now,I left this for last due to the simple reason that this happens to be one rule you must adhere to if you must have any inkling of chance of making it to celebrity top 10 in Nigeria.The rule I`m on about is that you MUST,repeat MUST expose as much of your God/surgeon given assets as possible.When I say much,I mean it literarily.It is very KEY that your boobs are always in full view of the public.How dare you have all those assets hidden and yet expect to be called a celebrity?Make you no dull for this one at alllllll.
Anyway these are the 9 simple steps to becoming a (rachet) celebrity in Nigeria.I will be back to offer more tips but in the meantime, you will be setting yourself off on the right path once you adhere strictly to these rules.
Now,go make us proud.Xoxo