You have a woman in your life. She is beautiful, cultured, intelligent, and devoted to making you happy. You are fortunate to have been blessed by her love for you.You know this and remind yourself every day not to take her for granted.
There is one problem, however. You sense that she has grown restless and impatient with you.She is beginning to avoid getting together with you in public. You cannot recall the last time that you went out with mutual friends and as a matter of fact, you have not been invited to dinner with her parents in over a month. Have your antics begun to wear thin? Do you need a quarter to buy a clue? In a word, yes. You are a man in need of work.
In the past, you have annoyed other women for reasons you are only now beginning to realize. Now is not the time to be stubborn and resist change.
This is not a competition. Your girlfriend is not your opponent. She has your best interests at heart and wants you to improve, so that the relationship can grow. It is unfortunate that the woman always figures this out before we do but since that is the case, take advantage and profit from it. Admit that you have a problem breaking certain habits that cause your relationship to suffer and take the necessary steps to eradicate them from your routine.
it's time for change, I Gathered some Real Experience some Real Experience from Ask Men to help us ;
Are you listening or hearing?The memo circulated but for some reason, you missed it. Yes -- there is a difference between hearing and listening. A major difference. Women have known this since the dawn of time. You, on the other hand, have not grasped the concept and your girlfriend is tired of explaining it to you. The basic premise is simple. When you hear her, her voice is audible. You can make out sounds and words. When you listen to her, however, you understand and acknowledge her. Capisce?
Women are big on acknowledgment. It makes them feel as though they are important to you, and is an indicator of your interest in what they are feeling and thinking.
When you are hanging out with the boys, eye contact may not be important when you communicate. In fact, you may not even engage in verbal communication at all. Gestures and grunts can be rather efficient tools after all. Just not with your girlfriend.
A look of apparent concern combined with the occasional nod will not appease her forever. You must prove that you are capable of dropping everything to pay attention to what she has to say, even if you don't think it is important. At the end of the day, it is not relevant what you think. If it is important to her, it is important period. So listen up.
What does she want to hear?
Score with (sincere) complimentsDo you compliment your girlfriend out of habit? For instance, when you pick her up to go for dinner, do you find yourself exclaiming, "You look great," every single time? If so, then you are suffering from knee-jerk compliment syndrome -- a dangerous habit indeed. Break the cycle of dull compliments now while you still have a woman in your life.
What you need to do is vary the routine, which is of course, the secret to keeping a woman happy. Mix it up every now and then by paying attention to the details. Her hair, her jewelry, her manicure, her eye shadow -- try to keep track of changes and let her know when you spot something different.
Is that a new top she has on? You should know the answer right away. Be on alert, observe everything and file key information away to be used at opportune moments.
Focus on more than her bodyNow and then you may want to compliment her on something other than her appearance. There is nothing wrong with praising the physical but like everything else, there is room for abuse. Ration the booty comments or else risk being associated with men who focus on nothing but sex. Even if all you think about is hitting it, do not under any circumstance let her find out. Do not give her the chance to consider for one second that your motives are insincere. Even if she is a sex fiend, you would do well to slow your roll in order to gain her respect.
Break the habit of initiating sex all the time by letting her take the lead, even if it means missing out on some play every so often. Do not have her thinking that all you want to do every time you get together is get it on. The pressure to perform will get to her and she will dread going home with you at the end of the night.
The change you need to make is to focus on intangible qualities like her intelligence, her opinions, her ideas, and her values. Talk to her about them and compliment her every now and again on something she says or does. She will then assume that she has value beyond that of a sexual object and in an ironic twist, you will get more sex. Of course, if your motive is to get more sex, you will fail. Women always seem to catch on to that before long.
It's time to represent...
Represent for your peopleDo you have a habit of adopting a different character in front of your woman when you are with your friends? This bad habit is a classic and is perhaps the most difficult to break. As men, we often feel like it is a sign of weakness to show affection to our girlfriends when our buddies are around.
We feel compelled to prove that we are not whipped and compete to show who can be the most apathetic in front of our woman.
Since when did loving your girlfriend out in the open become an emasculating experience? Why do we need to dis our women in order to demonstrate our worth as a man to our friends? If you want to hold on to a good thing, drop the act now. A real man is not ashamed of his woman, no matter who is present.
Nothing could be more infantile than alienating your girlfriend to impress your boys. Break the cycle of ignorance and respect your woman.
keep chivalry aliveIf your woman has been giving you the cold shoulder, you may want to get in the habit of extending a common courtesy or two from time to time to illustrate that you care.
Be the one to phone first now and then. When there is no calling balance and you let pride dictate the relationship, you will lose out. The man who never calls is a tired clich that needs to be changed, so go ahead and pick up the damn phone.
Try not to interrupt her when she speaks, especially in front of her family. This is so common with men, who often feel like they need to demonstrate their worth by controlling and dominating the conversation. Again, it all boils down to keeping the ego in check and listening to her.
Be traditional without being condescending. In other words: open the door for her, pull out her chair, offer to pay for dinner, and surprise her with flowers. Just do it with class and not because you think it is expected.
Here is a tip that has scored huge dividends in the past: If you have a habit of gazing into space while your girlfriend puts on her coat, pay attention.
First of all, you should offer to take her coat and put it on her yourself. You score points right there. The bonus is in the hair flip. If she has hair past her shoulders, it will get caught under the coat collar. Keep cool and do not panic. The tip is to hold the hair over your forearm or hand and flip it over the collar as she slips into the coat. She may not express it right then and there, but she will notice.
Is it a meaningless gesture? There is no such thing with women. More often than not, it is basic common courtesy that will win them over and have them bragging to their mother and girlfriends about you.
Attention to detail can make a relationship. When you add up the simple day-to-day acts of chivalry, you can often spot the difference between the so-called "typical guy" and the true gentleman. Which one are you? If you love your woman and want to keep her, be sure to know the answer.